The first step is the hardest

Hi, I'm Elle and I am morbidly obese.

I've had enough and am sick of watching others successfully manage their weight issues. Its my time to shine.

When I started this journey, I weighed in at 102kgs. I am not allowed to look at the scales for a couple of weeks (which is killing me) and I am sore all over, but the pain reminds me that I am alive and have the ability to do something about my weight.

I have always been a larger girl. I am very lucky to have a husband who thinks that I'm gorgeous no matter what. My weight has fluctuated throughout the years and I hope that soon I will be able to work a lot of this weight off.

I am sick of being big.
I am sick of having to look at weight limits.
I am sick of not being able to wear any of my nice 'skinny' clothes
Most of all
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

There are situations in my life that I cannot control. I am learning to accept those, but my children deserve a mother who shows them that it is healthy to focus on your health, to work out and push your limits. That it is ok to have curves but not ok to let yourself go.

I have a few promises to make

To my husband: Rory, our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up in 8 months. I want to celebrate wearing the special dress and I will fit into it. I promise to keep myself healthy and work on healing my mind as well as my body.

To my trainer: David, we currently work out twice a week together. You can be a right sod, but you are going to help me get results. I promise not to use the words "Can't" or "No".

To myself: Elle, I promise you that we are going to get there. There are times that we will ache and want to give up, but the kids deserve a healthy and happy mum. Hell, you deserve to be happy and healthy. You've worked hard keeping everyone else healthy..... its now your turn.